*Begin with cheesy infomercial music*
Are you A-Z-N? Or perhaps you're all thug and so ghetto, that you're G-E-T-O? Then we've got the thing for you: Xanga! You can create your own thugged out online journal right here, and be cool like everyone else!
Xanga is the cool place to be! Why? Because we force you to sign up just to post a comment to someone's post! That's just how cool we are! Oh, don't forget all the really cool smiley emoticons we have!    And I only had to open up a pop-up window three times to get all those smileys there! It's soooooo easy! How cool is that?
But let's not just stop there! Let's compare the awesome service of Xanga, to the crap competition of Livejournal
First notice, that any user on LJ has an info page! ShyRomance's Info! Who needs to see any kind of relative and useful information about a user, when you can have it all on a tiny sidebar of your weblog like on Xanga? ShyRomance's Xanga!
Also when posting, who would want to have the option of listing what emotion their feeling? Nope! All users on Xanga need is what song we're listening to at the moment! Emotions? Those are for sissies!
Speaking of posting, why would anyone want to have something like an easy to customize and use security posts? Nope, with Xanga, you have to set up all your protected groups by hand! Don't forget to remember and spell correctly all those usernames! Stupid LJ has easy lists of all of your friends, and an easy drop down list when you post to choose your security! Why would you need that, when Xanga can provide you with more pop-up windows?
Also, LJ has stupid things like communities! Who needs a community where people can post in a common place that all the members have the same interest like here in the Cornell LJ Community when you can have a blogring? Check out how cool the Cornell Xanga Blogring is! Who needs to post things asking others in the same community a question when all you need to do is see who was the last person who updated their Xanga? That's quality with a capital K, I tell you!
Let's look at some of the exclusive features, like the Xangas sites I read page! Oh wait, who else would want to see a person's subscriptions than only you? Stupid LJ has it so anyone can see a user's "Friends Page".
Besides that, let's look a bit deeper shall we? Who would ever want to see any kind of images that people post on their subscription page? No way! Just go to their xanga page buddy! That's soooooooooo much cooler! And why on earth would someone want to see more than 5 posts? On Xanga, you can read the latest 5 posts of all of your subscriptions! If you want to see any more, then just go to the next page, silly! Stupid LJ users can customize how many posts they want to see on their friends page! 20 entries on one page? God forbid! Or even worse! They can set up their friends pages in different categories so that they can see all of the posts from friends on one page, all of the posts from the various communities on another, and all the rss feeds on yet another! Who would want convenience and customization like that?
Speaking of RSS, one of the latest and greatest new web technologies, who on earth would anyone want to see those? Why would you want to be able to set up an RSS feed on LJ, so that people can easily subscribe to an outside weblog or website when they can just type in the url and go to that webpage in another window? Be glad that Xanga doesn't bother being friendly with users who have their own hosting, and use weblogging software like Moveable Type, or PMachine for their own personal weblog page!
Another stupid thing that LJ has are weblog clients! I mean who would want to download a program where they can write a post offline, save it, and then post it whenever they want at a later time? I mean EVERYONE writes their weblog posts in one sitting! Who would want to save their posts for a later time? Or even have the security of knowing that it won't disappear if there's an error while posting the entry? By golly, just copy and paste your entire post every time you submit it! That's so much cooler!
But you know what LJ doesn't have? E-PROPS! I mean, what an awesome idea! We can numerically see how much other users enjoyed each one of our posts! Because we can't just tell them in a comment that we liked their post, or thought it was interesting! No way!
Finally, why on earth would users want to preview their posts before posting it? It's not like anyone would ever want to proof-read it, or see if there's any problems with any HTML or other code that they put in the post! Nope! No siree! All Xanga users need is a submit and cancel button!
So please, please, please, please do NOT go to Livejournal and become a member! Who needs all those easy to use features, neat ideas, and good programming and planning?
Be cool and use Xanga! Because everyone else is, and why on earth would you want to use a better quality service? Mediocrity is the way to be! Be G-E-T-O! Be A-Z-N! Oh, and please! Everyone go and put music on your weblogs so that anyone who visits it is forced to listen to your song on repeat! Because no one every listens to their own music while surfing the web!
*End Cheesy Informercial Music*
This has been a Kwality post by a user of BOTH Xanga and LJ, for all those people out there that are too lazy, or too naive to use LJ!
*Edit: God! Who on earth would want to use something useful like HTML? Certainly not Xanga users, because obviously when you put it in your post, it DOESN'T read it!*
Links used:
Livejournal
ShyRomance's Info
ShyRomance's Xanga
Cornell LJ Community
Cornell Xanga Blogring
Xangas sites I read
"Friends Page"
become a member of LiveJournal
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